Too Soon
Vladimir and Adolf, a friendship like Punk Rock: indisposed by shitty timing.
Posts filed under ‘∆ stullig’
Calm-Cat
Calm-cat – The latest legal high to hit uk shores. While you certainly can smoke calm-cat, its effectiveness varies for different people. When smoked calm-cat effective, its most common effects include warming throughout the body, a general sense of relaxation and calm, and a sense of mild euphoria sometimes accompanied by giddiness. Inhaling calm-cat smoke can also bring on physical sensations of minty coolness, which usually spread from the back of the throat to the upper chest and persist for about two hours. Many people report that calm-cat sedates them and also seems to have anxiolytic action: some users say that smoking calm-cat helps them find calm after a long day and forget about their worries.
Kool Aid
Children, oh children; PLEASE, for the love of Machete, beware of Kool Aid.
It will totally make you go Charlie Sheen with it’s toxic amounts of children-compatible quantum hypercocaine. Even worse, it releases tiny ninja miners who will mine your teeth in order to make Chinese people.
Once depleted, your lack of teeth then leads to a hypernuclear quantumdecay of your personality cloud, splitting it into a mexican wrestler and an emu. You heard right. An emu.
Emu’s are incredibly dangerous. Originally called Emo’s, they officially changed their name in 1998 to distance themselves from obsessively French House addicted paranoid grandmothers who only communicate through elaborate carvings in their wrists.
The emu can only laugh about that. Well, actually he can’t cause he’s an emu. But he would if he had a sense of humour. But he doesn’t. Emus are incredibly sad. So sad in fact, that recent estimations estimate the world’s water supplies to be fully exhausted by 2014 from crying emus. Emus can easily cry up to several thousand litres of meta level Laserfluid on a bad day (which is every day), leading leading scientists to believe that they are responsible for almost every major quantum tsunami over the last 9000 years.
Scientologists are currently trying to develop a means of recycling Emu tears into drinkable water. The emphasis lies on „trying“ since emus cry überuncrackable Hyper Kool Aid which will instantly turn you into a mexican wrestler and an emu. You heard right, an emu.
The Emu was officially ostracized from planet Earth in 2012 but refuses to comply and leave the planet. In order to subdue him at least to some sort of ostracizical punishment, the emu is now often referred to as ostrich. Which makes him sad.
