stullig.com

All hail the Messi-Ass.

ARGH MY SOUL
GIVE ME BACK MY SOUL

Here a contribution to owl week from the past

Kids just love that stullig. And stullig loves them kids – no pedo.

LB05082010:
Unusually weird dreams last night.
My thresher feels sketchy .. did somebody suck my jegon?


Stullig remains sceptical.

Marcelo Bravo, Award-winning chicken-breeder and pawn star.

If you thought about going to Sweden, you might reconsider.

If you can provide any useful information, please call number or inform your local bureau for walkabout pigeons.

Stullig Timevoyager-Jörneliztz from the post-dimensional future are warning of an impending animal-doom-vendetta-attack-orgy. Regarding the kingdom of birds (air), a conflict is emerging around the recent arrest of russian top-pigeon ‚Anna Pidgeman‘.

Anna Pidgeman

A spokesman from the Ministry of Arrested Morons stated that Ms. Pidgeman (codename Aerorat) operated in a rather unprofessional, if not to say „clumsy and brainless“ manner (hardly a surprise, her being a member of the V.O.G.E.L.S.) that enabled O.W.L.Z.-top-agents using their ultra-sophisticated future-technology technology to get hold of Ms. Pidgeman’s copies of the official V.O.G.E.L.S.-World-Domination-Plans.

Tekniks from future O.W.L.Z.

O.W.L.Z.-members worldwide pronounced maximum-pain-level G-had against „life and everything“ after pigeon-president P. G. Proll resorted to fluff himself up at the latest conference talks in Birdjing.

pidgeon president proll fluffing it vogel style

Latest product developtments of the O.W.L.Z. army specializtz: Hypno-Laser-Owlbot equipped with adobe genocide®.

O.W.L.Z.-100 Prototype

After some of the robots went müsli and joyfully actived their self-destruct function, O.W.L.Z. decided to collaborate with a renegade psychotic pcp-pidgeon that used to analy compromise O.W.L.Z.-members for therapy.
It runs on the cracked version of Killerfox XP with concentration-techniques-of-tomorrow-plugin.

Zeta O.W.L.Z. lasering in your fat ugly pidgeon face, shhhhh

Feat. google

Ich hätte so gern mal’ne Eule gesehen!
Doch fliegt sie ja niemals bei Licht,
und abends muß ich doch ins Heiabett gehen.
Schade, na ja, denn nicht!

Quelle unbekannt

Im dichten Wald
leb‘ ich versteckt,
du hast mich
sicher nie entdeckt.

Bei Tageslicht
da schlaf‘ ich meist,
doch nachts, da
ruf‘ ich wie ein Geist.

Huhu, huhu
schallt’s durch den Wald,
dann flieg‘ ich
aus dem Felsenspalt

ganz lautlos durch
die Eichenkronen,
wo meine
Beutetiere wohnen.

Ein Eichhorn schmeckt
besonders fein,
auch Vögel sind mir
nicht zu klein.

Erspäht mein Auge
groß und rot
ein Beutetier –
bald ist es tot.

Ob du mich nun
erraten hast?
Mein Nam‘ zu
meinem Rufe paßt.

Quelle: Eulenforum

Hot News: Uhu Vogel des Jahres 2005

Ever since the Owlsen-Brothers carried out their hate-motivated hatecrime on Bussi Bear, owl terrorists have become a serious threat to the global community. We’ve just received new pictures of terror suspects from yet another international network of fanatic owl fundamentalists who operate under the name „Owlqaida“. These are believed to be the leaders:

Columbian Cocaine Owl

Rumanian Torture Owl

Indian Yoga Samurai Owl

North American Totemic Space Owl

And of course:

Stay tuned.

We at stullig are about to bring humanity one giant step forward in the quest for the Unified Theory of Speculative Sciences:
Around ?†ªƒ??(?-€º)¥ of Eastern Space Time, the team of our Stullig Department of Nihilistic Quantum Buddhism achieved to attain a crucial milestone towards understanding our stereoverse.

Using a recently assembled Abakus-Reality-Hackbot powered by yoga waves, they were the first to have a glimpse into Gaya’s source code, which appears to be written in a unary code that consists only of „€“s.

Before getting to understanding and -hopefully- updating reality, our science-pigeons went in there with a unique model of the Fisherprice Photobuddy Naptime Edition to take the first ever succesful photographs of a single quantum particle.
What we found confirmed our latest speculations about the framework of God.app.
But see for yourself:

quantum particle says hi

Mediocre news everyone!
After recent observations made by the stullig® Laboratories of Speculative™ Sciences©, little doubt is left that an almost forgotten player in the battle for the most acknowledged animal on planet „Earth“ might just be about to lash out once more in the excrutiating battle for the Grand Throne of Three-Dimensional Animosity: The Obsolete Wizard of Luciphistication – or simply: the Owl.

But not just any.

This new prototype of Owl is believed to be concepted by a radical fundamentalist non-religious owl development cult in Owlslamic Waziristan.
Several eye-witnesses stated that „Ptilopsis leucotis“ (scientific name: Transformer Owl) made the impression of being „mighty angry“ when annoyed.
It is unclear to this point wether Transformer Owl will be able to channel it’s agressive Chi into it’s shapeless Chakra of Bureaucracy in order to fight Crime© and Injustice© or wether it will drift down the polygoneutical path of rectitudinous Random® Racism®.

All we can say is: Paper beats rock. And rock beats scissors. But scissors cut paper. And there is NO WELL. There never was. If you ever thought there was, you should consider having a short moment of hurtful shame for your extraordinarily conventional discount-soul.
Believing in the concept of „well“ in rock-scissors-paper instantly overwrites your soul with misanthropic quantum zeroes, forfeights your right to compile and irreversably moves your conscience to trash, as your whole system is reformatted to „waste of reality“.

If it was up to us, also all your mana would go to the Monsantor graveyard of soul-besmearing eurodeath.

But for now, get down in your favourite youtube-position and consume:

Uppers

Downers

Owl week at stullig. Starting now!
Submissions welcome under brieftaube at stullig dot com

When you just might think your theory has no solid ground.

It’s just our duty as jörnelistz to bring you the hot news

catsthetics

Sie prollt dich mit dem Sonnenvisier + Nasa Logo. Bäm.