Kool Aid
Children, oh children; PLEASE, for the love of Machete, beware of Kool Aid.
It will totally make you go Charlie Sheen with it’s toxic amounts of children-compatible quantum hypercocaine. Even worse, it releases tiny ninja miners who will mine your teeth in order to make Chinese people.
Once depleted, your lack of teeth then leads to a hypernuclear quantumdecay of your personality cloud, splitting it into a mexican wrestler and an emu. You heard right. An emu.
Emu’s are incredibly dangerous. Originally called Emo’s, they officially changed their name in 1998 to distance themselves from obsessively French House addicted paranoid grandmothers who only communicate through elaborate carvings in their wrists.
The emu can only laugh about that. Well, actually he can’t cause he’s an emu. But he would if he had a sense of humour. But he doesn’t. Emus are incredibly sad. So sad in fact, that recent estimations estimate the world’s water supplies to be fully exhausted by 2014 from crying emus. Emus can easily cry up to several thousand litres of meta level Laserfluid on a bad day (which is every day), leading leading scientists to believe that they are responsible for almost every major quantum tsunami over the last 9000 years.
Scientologists are currently trying to develop a means of recycling Emu tears into drinkable water. The emphasis lies on „trying“ since emus cry überuncrackable Hyper Kool Aid which will instantly turn you into a mexican wrestler and an emu. You heard right, an emu.
The Emu was officially ostracized from planet Earth in 2012 but refuses to comply and leave the planet. In order to subdue him at least to some sort of ostracizical punishment, the emu is now often referred to as ostrich. Which makes him sad.