ATTENTION: TERROR ATTACK IMMINENT
Stulligs head of the department of homeland security Thomas de Möwière has analyzed the ambient terrorist potential and draws an alarming conclusion. The Terrorismus-Tauben-Trupp (for our english readers, this is the german part of the perilous pidgeon party) seems to be preparing an attack on our liberty. We can all be happy that heavily armed agents of security now guarantee that our lifestyle is secure from birds with a different point of view.
P.S.: Attention, the stullig headquarter is now officially closed for security reasons. Half of the staff have been relocated to an undisclosed neighbouring country with even tougher security measures against those religious nutcase birds.
P.P.S.: It has been brought to our attention, that important security measures are now being disclosed to the entirety of the German population. In order to spread the information to all of you Germans, the ministry of homeland security has teamed up with the crisis cell of stullig.com to provide the best possible communication. Please watch how you can prevent terrorist thoughts from entering your brain.
